just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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