i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
