He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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