I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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