I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
