remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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