Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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