So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
