I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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