Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
