Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
