I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
