you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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