Umm I'm too high to move.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
