I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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