What a fucking waste of an outfit
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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