Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
