im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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