he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
