Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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