I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
