i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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