So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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