Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
