Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
