I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
