we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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