47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
