halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
