On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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