K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
