He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
