just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize