i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
this hospital has no fireball
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Randomize
