White coat. Heels.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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