i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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