Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Enjoy the penises
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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