There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
