we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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