My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
