Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
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You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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