clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize