Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
