no, he came in my armpit
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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