I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
