she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
