How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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