Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
