did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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