were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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