so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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