Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
