just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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