She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
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But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
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If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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