Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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