Me. At least after what I've been through.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
