Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
