How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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