no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
