I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
