I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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