you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
