this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
