It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
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how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
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I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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