New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
